Saturday, May 24, 2008

Say It Ain't So, Indy!


Dear Indiana Jones,

Even if we actually met, in person, I don't think you would be capable of understanding the pleasure and enjoyment you have bestowed upon me and my family over the past 27 years. Do you know that when people ask me what my favorite movies are, I immediately respond "The Game, Star Wars and Indiana Jones"? Ok, so you don't get first billing, but you do get second AND third (something tells me that you're familiar with that Han Solo guy).

I cannot even begin to explain the excitement I felt when I learned that you would be making another Indiana Jones movie, 19 years after The Last Crusade. I have spent countless months defending you against many naysayers and what do you do in return? You stab me in the back by making one of THE worst movies I've seen in years. In fact, I'd like my $16 back.

Of course, Indy being Indy, the movie is sure to rake in millions at the box office but earnings have nothing to do with credibility. Never in my life would I have imagined that Harrison Ford, Steven Speilberg and George Lucas were capable of teaming up to create such a fiasco. And to think I defended the three of you by arguing that you would never have agreed to this reunion unless there was a tremendous plot and script behind it. Boy was I wrong!

Indy, you've disappointed me severely! And let me say that it has nothing to do with your age - I saw the topless scene and you look great. You just should not have agreed to the ridiculousness of the plot. We forgave you for making The Temple of Doom but, I'm sorry, we cannot forgive you for making The Kingdom of the Chrystal Skull.

All I can say is that I will do my best to hang on to those original memories from the 80s and not allow this to taint my image of you. After all, we all make mistakes.

Much Love, MJ

P.S. Although you're old enough to be my father, I'd be willing to make myself available if you're looking for some adventure outside of Hollywood.

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