My bank account is empty. And I don't get paid for another week.

It appears that $50 doesn't get you very far these days. Just yesterday I spent $50 at the gas station and, no, I didn't go into the mini mart. It probably would've cost me more like $53 and change to actually fill my tank but since I have this weird habit of always needing to stop the pump on an even amount of money, it only cost me $50.

50 dollars?!?! Did I mention I drive a Mini Cooper, not an SUV?

If only cars ran on tears.

I'm also finding it near impossible to leave the grocery store without dropping at least $50. No, we don't have any kids and, no, we're not obese.

Can anyone tell me why my salary isn't increasing as rapidly as the cost of gas and groceries?

What exactly does $50 get me nowadays?

• A cute top from Anthropologie


• 2 tickets to the Kooks show at the Paradise before it was sold out


• A haircut (color and tip not included)


• 6 burritos from Mambo Grill


• 15 Americanos at Starbucks


• 4 CDs at Newbury Comics


• 5 bottles of Fat Bastard


• 10 cheap-o trendy bracelets at Forever 21


• 5 tickets to the midnight opening of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Chrystal Skull (I now realize this is a huge WASTE of $50)


• 15 months worth of birth control


• 1 1/2 cases of Raspberry UFO


• 10 On Demand movies


• 5 weeks of membership at my gym


• 4 bags of dog food


• 1 right field box seat at Fenway

What $50 cannot buy me...

• A trip to the groomer for Little Jerry


• An oil change (synthetic, of course)


• 2 tickets for the previously mentioned sold out Kooks show


• A week's worth of groceries for me and my husband


• A new sweater from J. Crew


• A roundtrip Southwest Airlines flight from Manchester, NH to Baltimore, MD (like it did 3 years ago when we went to Camden Yards for a Sox game)


• A great bottle of tequila


• A "ticket" to a retirement party for 4 colleagues I barely even know


• A month's worth of cell phone service


• A perfect-fitting pair of jeans


• A 1-day lift ticket at a local ski resort


• Guitar Hero
• A one-year subscription to Us Weekly


• A passport


• A decent pair of shoes


• 2 ink cartridges (black and color) for my printer


• A Friday night out