I believe Jerry Seinfeld said it perfectly:
“This is why you see men honking car-horns, yelling from construction sites. These are the best ideas we’ve had so far. The car-horn-honk, is that a beauty? Have you seen men doing this? What is this? The man is in the car, the woman walks by the front of the car, he honks. This man is out of ideas.”
I guess I was wrong when I thought that turning 30 years old meant that you were no longer eligible for the car-horn-honk. Just when I thought I had grown out of the phase of being honked at, it happened. In fact, it happened twice in one week.
The first "incident" occurred while I was running in Lowell and the second incident occurred when I was getting out of my car at a gas station in Billerica. At first I thought it was a mistake. Maybe the guy accidentally leaned on his horn. Or maybe someone cut him off. Or maybe there was a smokin’ hot chick running behind me in a bikini. However, in both cases, the honk was paired with a creepy look directed at me. One guy even waved. I’m getting skeeved again just thinking about it.
In all honesty, the Lowell incident doesn't concern me as much as the Billerica incident. Lowell is a college town, so I half expect honks to happen here with all the college students. Guys and girls, alike, will pretty much do anything to get some action in college. Especially when they are either A.) drunk or B.) bored. Let’s face it, there’s a lot of down time in college.
So, that leads me to the second incident in Billerica. Now, at this point, you’re probably thinking, “How many times does this girl reference AND visit a town that she despises so much?” The problem is that unless I want a 60-minute commute to and from work each day, I am forced to drive through Billerica.
During a typical commute through Billerica, I drive behind, in front of and past several blue-collar business trucks. One day last week, a man driving one of the aforementioned trucks honked at me. I turned towards the man driving the truck and gave him the most obvious look of disgust that I could come up with. Unfortunately, I don’t think it was good enough because he waved anyway.
At first, I felt embarrassed. Then I became angry.
Now, at THIS point you’re probably thinking, “Ugly Betty could get honked at in Lowell and Billerica!” But this post is not about me falling victim to the car-horn-honk (yes, I refer to myself as a “victim” because, unlike some other women, I cannot find it in me to feel flattered by this act). No, it’s about the honk in general.
The naïve part of me wants to believe that drivers who honk at runners are doing so to encourage the runner. That is all I can surmise. Otherwise, I am completely baffled by the car-horn-honk. As Jerry said, is this really the best that men can do?
Really, what do men intend to achieve from the car-horn-honk? Are they experiencing a sudden regression to their teenage years all in the name of fun? Do they secretly hope that the woman will drop everything in her hands and run after the truck and say, “Oh baby I want you so bad, let’s run off and get crazy together?" I bet most of them wouldn’t even know what to do if that really happened.
Or maybe the men just want the girl to giggle and wave back? Then again, maybe any positive response would do? And what if they do get the response they are looking for? Will they turn around? And if they do turn around, what will they do then?
“This is why you see men honking car-horns, yelling from construction sites. These are the best ideas we’ve had so far. The car-horn-honk, is that a beauty? Have you seen men doing this? What is this? The man is in the car, the woman walks by the front of the car, he honks. This man is out of ideas.”
I guess I was wrong when I thought that turning 30 years old meant that you were no longer eligible for the car-horn-honk. Just when I thought I had grown out of the phase of being honked at, it happened. In fact, it happened twice in one week.
The first "incident" occurred while I was running in Lowell and the second incident occurred when I was getting out of my car at a gas station in Billerica. At first I thought it was a mistake. Maybe the guy accidentally leaned on his horn. Or maybe someone cut him off. Or maybe there was a smokin’ hot chick running behind me in a bikini. However, in both cases, the honk was paired with a creepy look directed at me. One guy even waved. I’m getting skeeved again just thinking about it.
In all honesty, the Lowell incident doesn't concern me as much as the Billerica incident. Lowell is a college town, so I half expect honks to happen here with all the college students. Guys and girls, alike, will pretty much do anything to get some action in college. Especially when they are either A.) drunk or B.) bored. Let’s face it, there’s a lot of down time in college.
So, that leads me to the second incident in Billerica. Now, at this point, you’re probably thinking, “How many times does this girl reference AND visit a town that she despises so much?” The problem is that unless I want a 60-minute commute to and from work each day, I am forced to drive through Billerica.
During a typical commute through Billerica, I drive behind, in front of and past several blue-collar business trucks. One day last week, a man driving one of the aforementioned trucks honked at me. I turned towards the man driving the truck and gave him the most obvious look of disgust that I could come up with. Unfortunately, I don’t think it was good enough because he waved anyway.
At first, I felt embarrassed. Then I became angry.
Now, at THIS point you’re probably thinking, “Ugly Betty could get honked at in Lowell and Billerica!” But this post is not about me falling victim to the car-horn-honk (yes, I refer to myself as a “victim” because, unlike some other women, I cannot find it in me to feel flattered by this act). No, it’s about the honk in general.
The naïve part of me wants to believe that drivers who honk at runners are doing so to encourage the runner. That is all I can surmise. Otherwise, I am completely baffled by the car-horn-honk. As Jerry said, is this really the best that men can do?
Really, what do men intend to achieve from the car-horn-honk? Are they experiencing a sudden regression to their teenage years all in the name of fun? Do they secretly hope that the woman will drop everything in her hands and run after the truck and say, “Oh baby I want you so bad, let’s run off and get crazy together?" I bet most of them wouldn’t even know what to do if that really happened.
Or maybe the men just want the girl to giggle and wave back? Then again, maybe any positive response would do? And what if they do get the response they are looking for? Will they turn around? And if they do turn around, what will they do then?
I know exactly what they will do. They will see my face, they will realize that I’m a weathered 30-year-old and they will wish they had honked at the skinny 19-year-old girl who just pulled up to the pump next to me.
2 comments:
You need to stop running and driving naked. That may cut back on the honks.
Ok, my friend. I have a word to say on this. First, let me "strenuously object" to the idea that you are a "weathered 30 year old". If your appearance is any indication of what the term "weathered" describes, then I cringe thinking about how one with your vocabulary, and let's face it, wonderful usage of said vocabulary, would describe one such as myself. So stop calling yourself weathered.
Now. On with the topic at hand. Can I just say, EW!!! One of them actually waved at you? My feeling is...if you actually KNOW me and want to get my attention, then MAYBE the car-horn-honk is in order. If you do NOT know me...then stay out of my way, and certainly don't acknowledge me if I am far and away from your line of sight, direction of your car, or destination. That really creeps me out that someone actually waved. And in the town that I choose to live in, no less.
I do think you've hit the nail on the head though. I think most of the men who are apt to make use of the car-horn-honk probably have some beyond-weathered-38 year old at home, who doesn't look half as good as you do, and they just want to think that they "still got it" even when their gut is hanging over their belt loops and their tongue hangs out drooling over two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun.
I like to think I still got it. I just don't go out of my way to embarass myself to prove it!
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