The other day I found myself window shopping for shoes online (does that even make sense?) and happened to come across a brand of shoes called Two Lips. I think I threw up in my mouth a little. Something about that name just completely grossed me out.
Once again, I got to thinking. Over the course of my life, I’ve outright cringed upon hearing certain words. In fact, sometimes I’m so distracted by a cringe-worthy word that I end up missing everything else the speaker says.
So, I decided to make a list of words (and some phrases) that literally stop me in my tracks. I made a point of leaving out the obvious racist remarks.
The following is a list of words that, in my opinion, could and should be removed from the English language entirely. I really don’t think anyone would miss them. Do you?
moist
panties
penalize (when pronounced with a long e sound)
cochlear
slacks
pissa
cool beans (believe it or not I’ve actually heard this phrase in the past 12 months)
eye-candy
WELL! (when uttered by Jane Coughlin)
fiancé
grow your business
dungarees
gnarly
tanorexic
be careful (like I'm going to follow YOUR advice)
anal
bunion
pocketbook
clusterfuck
chinos (they're called khakis)
snatch
up-and-coming (keep telling yourself that)
nice figure
gubernatorial
spiritual
Manch-vegas
po po (as in police)
pus
family-friendly
negligee
poncho
lol (I prefer "ha ha")
fugly
ginormous
rad
non-alcoholic
Brangelina (or any word combining the first names of a celebrity couple)
crotch
persnickety
mount
broad (when describing a woman)
closure
sketchy
Of course I had to balance this all out by thinking of words and phrases I LOVE for no other reason except that they’re either A.) hilarious (which happens to be a word I love) or B.) overused by none other than ME.
rubbish
duty
curmudgeon
awesome
sweet
cheesy
bookin it
chucker
guacamole
naïve
traverse
douchebag
psyched
lose my mind
pissed
snacks
nap
tchotke
brings nothing to the table
segue
wasted
dude
chick
Google
redundant
sucks
shady
insane
helmet
taco
worthless
poop
crackin up
sickening
idiot
smarmy
binkie
squalor
glorious
knock it off
moron
suspect
boobs
cumbersome
obvious
debunk
tomfoolery
bulbous (George Costanza’s head)
cougar
deliciousness
hipster
beaver
nonsense
macerate (what you do to the fruit when you make sangria)
cankle
rapscallion
kebab (best when said by Jamie Oliver)
ridiculous
hilarious
tagging
adjusts (I think it’s the s-t-s combo that makes me giggle – try saying it aloud)
Something tells me these 2 lists are just going to get longer over time…
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
More Obsessions with Words...
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5 comments:
Yesterday I was sitting in a ginormous traffic jam on Cambridge Street. Apparently there was a huge delay due to a road closure brought on by a gubernatorial parade. I thought this was sketchy because elections are so far away, but I digress. As I was sitting in traffic two tanorexic broads were walking on the side walk. One was total eye candy even though she had a huge pocketbook. The other one was very fugly and was wearing a Manch-vegas tee shirt and a pair of slacks. Now I can see wearing this outfit with some chinos or dungarees, but slacks? Come on. LOL.
Speaking of Manch-vegas, has anyone noticed the effort to showcase this dump as an up-and-coming family-friendly city? I sure have, which is funny because we all know you have to be careful when you go there because there is so much crime and so few po po the place is super sketchy. Now I am no pus, but I get really anal when I am up there and get freaked out that my fiancé, oops, I mean wife, is going to get mugged or something! Speaking of my wife, let me just say that I think she has a very nice figure.
I am sorry for the emptying of the mind post here, but did anyone see the Olympic weightlifting on NBC? My favorite event has to be the snatch. I am impressed how they throw that weight over their heads like that. I would be so nervous my palms would be moist with sweat, though I suppose that is why they use that chalk. Another cool event in the Olympics is the pommel horse. I would definitely kill my crotch trying to mount that damn thing, but watching them do those crazy routines is just pissa.
Did anyone see the media crush that followed Brangelina the other day? Talk about a clusterfuck. The best part was that Reese of Gyllenspoon fame had her panties in a bunch because none of the Paps were taking pictures of her! I read a story about how she was drinking a lot and got the gout, which is apparently a very painful bunion, and now she is forced to drink non-alcoholic wine which I think is very persnickety… just drink water.
Oh, and I agree with Molly, I hate the words penalize, cochlear, cool beans , “grow your business”, gnarly, spiritual, negligee, poncho, and rad.
I just realized I used sketchy twice... now I'm mad.
I prefer Kebab as uttered by jemaine clement, as in "I can't believe that i'm sharing a kebab with the most beautiful girl in the, room". Also doesn't fiancee have two ees and don't you use ginormous all the time? also, i had to look cochlear up on dictionary.com, who uses that word? have you been visiting mass eye and ear a lot lately?
A fiance is a man and a fiancee is a woman.
I've been saying ginormous since college and I thought it hadn't really caught on. I began hating it when I realized it was a Jersey shore word.
Working with kids, you hear "cochlear implant" once in awhile.
You got a lot of the bad words and phrases! Did you put closure on there? Up and coming... Hilarious... Another word for, "shit, (insert item/place/band/show/food/whatever)I might have fucked this one up by listening to all those ding bats tell me this is up and coming when it really sucks and now I have to be a part of this suckiness."
But how can you not like po po? Say it out loud... No way you don't laugh...
Some words to add to the great list...
brouhaha
fiduciary
pinhead/knucklehead/stemhead- Really, anything with head
unacceptable
ding bat
pants
bowl
taco
doody
lithe
gattaca
chunky/beefy/heavyset
Gerard
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