A week has gone by since I returned to reality here in Lowell. After drowning myself in my sorrows (i.e. Watermelon Ale) for 7 days, I decided to try something I’m not very good at: focusing on the positive. And that starts with a simple reminder that it is still summer!
Thinking positively does not come naturally to me; it’s something that I have to remind myself to do on a daily basis. I’m hoping maybe 50 years from now this daily training will eventually pay off and I will be the most positive, most chipper, most popular person in the nursing home…oh wait…there will be no one to hang out with because we’ll probably all be dead. I’ll be sure to send you a postcard from hell and let you know just how hot it really is.
There I go again with my negativity.
One of the great things about growing older (get ready for the cliché) is that you gain a better understanding of who you really are, for better or worse. You can reflect on the reasons why you think the way you do, feel the way you do and act the way you do. And you realize you have the power to change those things, if you want to. No, I'm not reading you an excerpt from The Secret or A New Earth. This is common sense. Don't waste your time on these self-improvement books; you are capable of reflection and change as long as you have common sense.
I know that I am a pessimist and that sometimes (often?) I am too critical or judgmental. I find flaws in everything (mostly things having to do with myself). What’s worse is that my filter appears to be disintegrating with each passing day, so I’m beginning to understand why old people say exactly what’s on their minds. I procrastinate, I'm self-conscious, I'm stubborn, I'm opinionated without being smart enough to back up most of my opinions, I lack political knowledge, I'm irresponsible with money, I'm selfish, I'm cynical, I have OCD tendencies...the list goes on. (FYI – I can hear you continuing this list in your head right now so please stop!)
The real issue comes after you identify the problem areas (a more positive person would probably refer to them as “areas of improvement”); marked improvements don’t always come as quickly and as easily as you might picture them in your mind. For that reason, you may have to rely on the help of others.
My husband and my brothers have grown accustomed to calling me out on my whining, complaining and judgmental comments. And I appreciate that. I now find myself laughing at…well…myself. Sometimes I even like to stir the pot by blatantly complaining about something ridiculous just to get a reaction out of them. (It’s funny when you’re there.)
If you ask me whether or not I complain more than the average person, I’m not really sure. How do you measure that? Yes, some complaints are justified, but MOST are just plain silly, especially complaints about things that we have no control over. When I hated my most recent haircut, my husband had to hear me say that I hated it 100 times in just 3 days. For some reason I just wasn't born with the natural ability to say “This haircut sucks, but it’s just hair. It will grow back.” See…there I go again…now I'm complaining about my inabilities.
I’m currently working on incorporating this phrase into my life: “Yes, (insert sucky subject here) sucks, but there’s nothing I can do to change it so let’s move on.”
But let's get back to the topic at hand. Today I am working on positivity.
The New York Times Travel section recently printed an article that listed the top 25 destinations in the northeast. You might want to sit down for this one because Lowell, MA, was #3 on that list. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? The person that wrote the article clearly hasn’t visited too many places in the northeast. (Oops...that wasn't a positive beginning.)
Now that I’ve been living in #3 Lowell for more than 3 years, I’ll be frank and say that I’ve never “loved” it, but I consider it to be “fine” and there are some new additions that are making it a better place to live. And since we’re not moving to Dublin anytime soon, I’ve decided to make a list (surprise, surprise) of the positive things about Lowell so that I can make the most of my time here.
1. I get to live in a pretty good-sized condo with the best guy and best dog in the world.
2. It’s a city, not a white suburban town.
3. I’m not embarrassed to say that I live there (mainly as a result of #2).
4. My sister lives down the street.
5. Two of our closest friends live within a few miles.
6. I can walk Little Jerry or run on the Riverwalk.
7. It’s not a bad commute to work.
8. The movie theater is never too crowded and it has stadium seating.
9. A cute new boutique called Humanity just opened up downtown.
10. I can drive to NH to purchase things tax-free. (Unlike my brother I do NOT have a “No NH Policy” although whenever I return home I do feel like I just visited another planet.)
11. The Good Times 5k Race is a fun weekly event.
12. The festivals are always a blast, particularly the Rib ‘n Brews Fest in September. (I love my microbrews!)
13. We are within walking distance of the downtown area, Lowell Beerworks, Lelacheur Park (home of the Spinners), Tsongas Arena, the post office, a liquor store, The Coffee Mill (our favorite local coffeehouse), Mambo Grill (our favorite burrito place), good sushi restaurants, Café Paradiso (for frozen watermelon martinis) and The Old Court (our favorite Irish pub in the area) – that should count as 11 things!!
Now, I know this post was supposed to focus on the POSITIVE, but did you really think I wasn’t going to include a list of negatives? In my defense, please note that the positive list is LONGER than the negative list. I’d call that “making satisfactory progress.”
1. It’s not Boston, Cambridge or Somerville. And going into Boston, Cambridge or Somerville on a weekend night is considered a “trek” and therefore must be carefully planned.
2. It’s too close to NH.
3. I drive past 6 Market Baskets on my way to a decent grocery store in Tewksbury.
4. I also have to drive to Tewksbury to workout in a decent gym. Unfortunately this often plays a major role in whether or not I actually make it to the gym on a given day.
5. Poor driving/pedestrian etiquette (see previous post dated 5/31/08).
6. Hearing gunshots in front of our house in the middle of the night (one time).
7. Witnessing a drug deal go down on the corner of our street (more than once).
8. The Reggaeton base coming from the unit next door.
9. There are very few “memorable” restaurants. We have our favorites, naturally, because we live here, but we won't find our all-time favorite restaurants in Lowell.
Thinking positively does not come naturally to me; it’s something that I have to remind myself to do on a daily basis. I’m hoping maybe 50 years from now this daily training will eventually pay off and I will be the most positive, most chipper, most popular person in the nursing home…oh wait…there will be no one to hang out with because we’ll probably all be dead. I’ll be sure to send you a postcard from hell and let you know just how hot it really is.
There I go again with my negativity.
One of the great things about growing older (get ready for the cliché) is that you gain a better understanding of who you really are, for better or worse. You can reflect on the reasons why you think the way you do, feel the way you do and act the way you do. And you realize you have the power to change those things, if you want to. No, I'm not reading you an excerpt from The Secret or A New Earth. This is common sense. Don't waste your time on these self-improvement books; you are capable of reflection and change as long as you have common sense.
I know that I am a pessimist and that sometimes (often?) I am too critical or judgmental. I find flaws in everything (mostly things having to do with myself). What’s worse is that my filter appears to be disintegrating with each passing day, so I’m beginning to understand why old people say exactly what’s on their minds. I procrastinate, I'm self-conscious, I'm stubborn, I'm opinionated without being smart enough to back up most of my opinions, I lack political knowledge, I'm irresponsible with money, I'm selfish, I'm cynical, I have OCD tendencies...the list goes on. (FYI – I can hear you continuing this list in your head right now so please stop!)
The real issue comes after you identify the problem areas (a more positive person would probably refer to them as “areas of improvement”); marked improvements don’t always come as quickly and as easily as you might picture them in your mind. For that reason, you may have to rely on the help of others.
My husband and my brothers have grown accustomed to calling me out on my whining, complaining and judgmental comments. And I appreciate that. I now find myself laughing at…well…myself. Sometimes I even like to stir the pot by blatantly complaining about something ridiculous just to get a reaction out of them. (It’s funny when you’re there.)
If you ask me whether or not I complain more than the average person, I’m not really sure. How do you measure that? Yes, some complaints are justified, but MOST are just plain silly, especially complaints about things that we have no control over. When I hated my most recent haircut, my husband had to hear me say that I hated it 100 times in just 3 days. For some reason I just wasn't born with the natural ability to say “This haircut sucks, but it’s just hair. It will grow back.” See…there I go again…now I'm complaining about my inabilities.
I’m currently working on incorporating this phrase into my life: “Yes, (insert sucky subject here) sucks, but there’s nothing I can do to change it so let’s move on.”
But let's get back to the topic at hand. Today I am working on positivity.
The New York Times Travel section recently printed an article that listed the top 25 destinations in the northeast. You might want to sit down for this one because Lowell, MA, was #3 on that list. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? The person that wrote the article clearly hasn’t visited too many places in the northeast. (Oops...that wasn't a positive beginning.)
Now that I’ve been living in #3 Lowell for more than 3 years, I’ll be frank and say that I’ve never “loved” it, but I consider it to be “fine” and there are some new additions that are making it a better place to live. And since we’re not moving to Dublin anytime soon, I’ve decided to make a list (surprise, surprise) of the positive things about Lowell so that I can make the most of my time here.
1. I get to live in a pretty good-sized condo with the best guy and best dog in the world.
2. It’s a city, not a white suburban town.
3. I’m not embarrassed to say that I live there (mainly as a result of #2).
4. My sister lives down the street.
5. Two of our closest friends live within a few miles.
6. I can walk Little Jerry or run on the Riverwalk.
7. It’s not a bad commute to work.
8. The movie theater is never too crowded and it has stadium seating.
9. A cute new boutique called Humanity just opened up downtown.
10. I can drive to NH to purchase things tax-free. (Unlike my brother I do NOT have a “No NH Policy” although whenever I return home I do feel like I just visited another planet.)
11. The Good Times 5k Race is a fun weekly event.
12. The festivals are always a blast, particularly the Rib ‘n Brews Fest in September. (I love my microbrews!)
13. We are within walking distance of the downtown area, Lowell Beerworks, Lelacheur Park (home of the Spinners), Tsongas Arena, the post office, a liquor store, The Coffee Mill (our favorite local coffeehouse), Mambo Grill (our favorite burrito place), good sushi restaurants, Café Paradiso (for frozen watermelon martinis) and The Old Court (our favorite Irish pub in the area) – that should count as 11 things!!
Now, I know this post was supposed to focus on the POSITIVE, but did you really think I wasn’t going to include a list of negatives? In my defense, please note that the positive list is LONGER than the negative list. I’d call that “making satisfactory progress.”
1. It’s not Boston, Cambridge or Somerville. And going into Boston, Cambridge or Somerville on a weekend night is considered a “trek” and therefore must be carefully planned.
2. It’s too close to NH.
3. I drive past 6 Market Baskets on my way to a decent grocery store in Tewksbury.
4. I also have to drive to Tewksbury to workout in a decent gym. Unfortunately this often plays a major role in whether or not I actually make it to the gym on a given day.
5. Poor driving/pedestrian etiquette (see previous post dated 5/31/08).
6. Hearing gunshots in front of our house in the middle of the night (one time).
7. Witnessing a drug deal go down on the corner of our street (more than once).
8. The Reggaeton base coming from the unit next door.
9. There are very few “memorable” restaurants. We have our favorites, naturally, because we live here, but we won't find our all-time favorite restaurants in Lowell.
10. The nearest halfway-decent shopping mall is located in Burlington which means that I have to wear a disguise.
Here’s to positive thoughts!
Here’s to positive thoughts!
1 comment:
Said grocery store is technically in Lowell...on the Tewksbury side of Lowell, but in Lowell nonetheless :P
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