My Favorite Person

I was 22 when I convinced myself that I was never going to get married. None of my relationships up to that point had ever lasted more than a year. I was a bit young to be giving up hope, but things weren’t looking good and I thought it might be a good idea to start preparing myself for the inevitable.

So why, exactly, was I giving up hope at such a young age? Well, for starters I had very high standards and, in the words of Greg Behrendt, I just wasn’t that into anyone. The guys I was drawn to the most were often the guys that I couldn’t have. But maybe I wouldn’t have been into them either; after all, I didn't “get” them, so I never actually knew them long enough to confirm whether or not I was TRULY into them. If history does indeed repeat itself then I would've grown sick of them, too, within the year.

I tried to commend myself for being a “strong woman,” for knowing exactly what I wanted and refusing to “settle.” After all, this is someone that I have to spend the rest of my life with - this is a big deal! If there’s one minor thing that he does that annoys me, I have to think, can I live with this the rest of my life? Honestly, I think I would’ve broken up with someone because he ate his peas one at a time.

So, naturally I began to question my standards and my choosiness. I thought something was wrong with me, that maybe I wasn’t capable of loving someone enough to spend the rest of my life with him. I wanted to be IN LOVE, not just tolerate someone. But I had to face the facts; the odds of me finding a perfect match for my HIGH standards were very slim.

Here’s my list so that you can see for yourself…

· Must not have a criminal history.
· Must be a college graduate with a respectable job.
· Must be knowledgeable about a variety of topics, but not a know-it-all and not overly “book smart.”
· Must not have an unbearable Boston accent.
· Must be friendly to service workers.
· Must be somewhat chivalrous.
· Must be able to hold his own (socially) among a new group of people.
· Must understand and use sarcasm.
· Must like Seinfeld.
· Must like movies and TV.
· Must like FNX music and attending concerts.
· Must be open to owning dog/s, but not pitbulls, rottys, boxers, mastiffs, etc.
· Must like going out to eat.
· Must eat meat.
· Must not drink Budweiser or Bud Light.
· Must enjoy wine once in awhile.
· Must not smoke.
· Must include working out as a top priority.
· Must like sports, but cannot wear team jerseys.
· Must not wear tank tops of any kind out in public.
· Must be good-looking (shallow, but true, and don’t you try to deny it).
· Must be well dressed.
· Must have nice hair...and sideburns are a given.
· Must not have dirty hands and fingernails.
· Must not drive a pick-up.
· Must never be cheap, even when service isn’t that great.
· Must know that you do not go to a party empty-handed.
· Must be able to justify splurging every once in awhile.
· Must want to have 2-3 children.
· Must like to travel.
· Must not be a Republican.
· Must not be racist.
· Must be pro-choice.
· Must support same sex marriage.
· Must not be religious.
· Must meet the approval of my siblings.
· Must put up with me.

I know what you’re thinking - who do I think I am, right?

Well, here’s the thing, I’ve never considered myself a lucky person mainly because I’ve always associated luck with winning. Sure, I’ve won some money on scratch tickets here and there and I won a few coloring contests when I was younger, but I would never go so far as to call myself lucky. If you think about it, luck really has little to do with winning. As cheesy as this may sound, luck is more about happiness and success. And winning doesn’t always bring happiness and success, does it?

As you probably know, I’ve been married for over a year now. Matt and I have been together for almost 8 years, but we’ve known each other since the 7th grade. That’s a total of 17 years! We’ve known each other longer than we haven’t known each other.

Because I’ve known Matt for so long, I sometimes wonder if I subconsciously built that ridiculous list around him. But, even if I did, there’s no denying the fact that I got REALLY lucky. I’m not exactly sure what I did to deserve it, but, somehow, I managed to beat those incredible odds. I thought I would spend my entire life searching for my favorite person, but he was right there all along. And, thankfully, he puts up with me.

Happy 30th Birthday, Matt!

I have a confession to make (probably one of many).

I am a news junkie as well as a TMZ junkie and I'm totally intrigued by the whole Tom and Gisele relationship. Which is strange to me because I've never really been much of a TB fan.

Yesterday I recorded Live with Regis and Kelly so that I could see Gisele on the show. You can imagine my disappointment when I tuned in to see a completely awkward, lanky Gisele sing a Bon Jovi song (you know he's one of my nemeses) with Michael Chiklis (Regis had the day off so he was a guest host) and Kelly Ripa who so obviously hated that Gisele was on the show because it meant the focus was on someone OTHER than her.

Anyway, Gisele is a freak of nature. She looks like she's walking on stilts that could snap in half at any moment (unfortunately it was Tom's leg that suffered the injury instead). But the odds of having a body like that are very slim and I guess that's why she gets paid so much money. Inheriting a body like that is like hitting the lottery.

But this post isn't about Gisele's ridiculous body, I actually would like a chance to defend her because I cannot believe the amount of criticism she is getting for "traveling the world" while Tom is "bedridden."

First of all, Gisele and Tom are NOT married, they are dating. Second of all, Tom had knee surgery, he's not on his deathbed. As a supermodel, it's part of her job to travel the world! If Matt injured his knee, I wouldn't stop working. Are these people saying that she is supposed to be at his beck and call 24/7 all because he has an injured knee? What if the tables were turned? What if Gisele broke her leg and couldn't model for several months? Would people be saying, "Oh my god, why is Tom Brady still playing football every Sunday when his girlfriend is bedridden?!?! Aaaaaaaaaah, NO, that would NOT happen.

What's For Dinner?

As pathetic as this may sound, this is typically the first question that Matt and I ask each other when we wake up. Seriously. Our lives, literally, revolve around food. We don’t eat to live, we live to eat. And I’m not sure what to make of this.

Matt and I were at a wedding last Saturday (by the way weddings are a lot more fun when you haven’t been to one in awhile) and I was having a conversation with my friend, Allison, about packing lunches (this was relevant because she has a 2-year-old daughter and a husband who recently became a cranberry farmer near their home in Carver) and she said, "Seriously, when's the last time you had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?" I replied, "Actually, I had one today. Matt and I have them all the time."

So, while Allison and I went on to talk about how delicious PBJs are and a number of other ridiculously awesome topics including the foods we refuse to eat (I’m happy to say that my list only has about 8 items on it), I couldn't help thinking about how lame Matt and I are when it comes to making and eating meals. Now, I'll be honest, the reason I had a PBJ that particular day was because I needed something quick after my workout and I didn't want to eat too much during the day because I knew that I'd be eating a lot at the wedding. If I hadn’t worked out, I probably wouldn’t have eaten all day. Is that crazy? I know it’s not a healthy tactic, by any means, but I have a feeling that these strange eating habits might actually be closer to the norm. Seriously, I’d like to know one person that can actually refer to their overall diet as “healthy.” I can’t name a single person I know.

A typical week for us goes like this:

Monday through Wednesday
We refer to this as our "detox" period because the odds are pretty good that we just spent the weekend eating and drinking rubbish. We also look at it as "being good and saving up our calories for the weekend." On these days I have a light breakfast that typically includes 1 or 2 of the following: cereal, oatmeal, English muffin with PB, cottage cheese, banana or Luna bar. Then I have a light lunch which might include any 1 or 2 of those items that I did not eat for breakfast. For dinner, Matt will have a turkey sandwich and I will have a tuna sandwich.
Thursday
The breakfast and lunch routines remain the same. If Matt is home for dinner then we might order burritos. Otherwise, it's sandwiches again.
Friday
The breakfast and lunch routines remain the same. Again, if Matt is home then dinner might include ordering out or making a big meal together. Also, cocktails of some sort are typically consumed.
Saturday
The breakfast and lunch routines remain the same. Although, breakfast MAY be skipped depending upon wake-up times. Then, if we don't have any plans to see friends or family, dinner might include ordering out, going out to a restaurant or making a big meal together. Also, cocktails of some sort are typically consumed.
Sunday = Funday
This remains our "cheat day" even if Friday & Saturday of that week also turned into cheat days. We usually begin planning our cheat day on Monday and we spend the week getting psyched up for it. Sometimes a Sunday cheat day involves going to a friend's house and watching football. If that's the case then we can estimate our caloric intake to be 1,000 calories (give or take) MORE than our typical cheat day. Otherwise, we might just stay in and make something fatty and delicious for ourselves (pulled pork, guacamole, nachos, etc.), eat out at a restaurant (burgers, maybe) or order take-out (pizza, maybe). I can assure you there is never a low-cal option. Oh, and cocktails are most definitely consumed.

As you can see, our eating habits aren’t the best. But are your's or anyone else's really any better? Please tell me they're not.

For now, I’m ok with this. I think we can get away with it since we don’t have children, but what makes me nervous is thinking about feeding a family someday. I remember the days when my siblings and I used to annoy the hell out of my mother asking, “Maaaaaaa! What’s for dinner?” I had no idea how much pressure there really is to put a decent meal on the table.

And we definitely have a few additional obstacles to overcome...
1.) Matt and I can’t decide whether to order burritos or a pizza on a given night, so how the hell are we going to plan a different meal every night of the week?
2.) Matt is the chef in this little family. Unfortunately, I wasn’t lucky enough to have a mom who knew how to cook well so I learned ZERO culinary skills. Because my range is so limited, I’m going to have a very difficult time coming up with a 7-dinner rotation. Maybe I should start to get to know that Crockpot….
3.) A big meal with meat, a veggie and a starch costs a lot more money and a lot more TIME than a tuna sandwich.

Maybe we’re all unhealthy because we can be and having children finally forces us to become healthy. Damn, eating healthfully sounds exhausting. I’m not sure I’m ready for it.

P.S. Don’t read into this post.

At least I'm not waking up to Sonny & Cher every morning...

Every year, as the summer winds down, I try to convince myself that “it will be good to get back into a routine.” Then, 6 weeks into the school year, I remember just how sucky this routine is.

Lately I’ve been feeling like Bill Murray in the movie Groundhog Day. Not that my days are bad, but, as I wake up, shower, feed the dog, dry my hair, and put on mascara, all I can think is, “Didn’t I JUST do this?”

Some mornings I find myself looking in the mirror, contemplating how much money I'd pay to have someone do my hair and makeup every morning. It’s not that any of this takes a long time, it’s just that I would prefer to do it on my OWN time, like, you know, approximately 5 or 6 hours later.

On Monday mornings, I will jokingly say to Matt, “Is it Friday yet?” Along with the rest of the world, I wish every day could be Friday. In fact, Fridays just might beat out Saturdays as my favorite day of the week because the one routine that never gets old is the Friday routine.

From the moment I wake up on a Friday, everything feels differently. I never feel guilty setting the alarm a little later (or hitting the snooze button a few extra times). The iron doesn’t need turning on because WOO-HOO it’s JEANS day! Then there’s the “I’ll get there when I get there” attitude about arriving to work which means that for one morning of the week I don’t feel rushed. Much to Matt’s delight, I might even take Little Jerry for a walk just to take in this glorious Friday morning. And, although I make the same coffee in the same machine every day of the week, it always tastes a little more delicious on Friday morning.

The Friday work routine is also a little different. Colleagues seem happier and chattier, a 30-minute lunch can often turn into 60 minutes, there are fewer emails and phone calls waiting for me and even crises seem more manageable.

Then, there’s the Friday afternoon commute, which never seems to feel like a commute at all. Unless you have plans on a Friday night (which I typically do not), the Friday afternoon commute is surprisingly relaxing. It is the first time all week that I don’t feel like there’s something else I should be doing. Contractually, we can be out the door at 2:00 on a Friday, but, for some reason, I suddenly find myself taking my time wrapping up the workday. When I get into the car, I immediately open the sunroof, roll down the windows and turn up the stereo a little louder than normal. I carefully select songs that fit my mood and I take in every lyric, sometimes singing along, not caring what the person in the car next to me thinks about my performance. I am also not phased by traffic on Fridays. I stop for every pedestrian, I let other cars pull out in front of me and I don’t care that it may take me twice as long to get home. Because I know, when I get there, it will still be Friday, the start of the weekend.

There are only two commutes that top the Friday afternoon commute and they are the afternoon commute on the last day of school before Christmas vacation and the afternoon commute on the last day of the school year. Unfortunately, if you don't work in education, you may never experience this euphoria. Thankfully, Fridays come every week.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm sure I'll find someone else to blame.

Face it, we're all idiots once in awhile. Since it's Monday and I don't mind making fun of myself, I thought I would share with you some "Molly Moments" from the past few weeks.

Story #1

The other day I was driving behind a car with a Patriots license plate frame. We came upon a red light and because I have a tendency to use my DBS (delayed breaking system), I ended up stopping much too close to the car. I began to examine the license plate frame and became somewhat confused when I read the words "National Football League" in my head. It took about 5-7 seconds for me to realize that this was NFL. I guess when an acronym is used so commonly, I forget what the letters actually stand for.

Story #2

When watching the Red Sox play Tampa Bay in Florida, you can see an ad for neweracap.com behind home plate. I spent a few minutes reading this as "newer a cap" and wondering what that could mean. The company is New Era Cap, if you haven't figured it out yet.

Story #3

When Matt and I were watching a Red Sox game at a bar, the following picture came up on the TV screen.

I wasn't wearing my glasses at the time so I read this as "Kev Matchup" and I thought to myself, "Who is this Kev Matchup guy? I've never heard of him before." I realized about 20 seconds too late what it actually said. The best part? I fell for it a second time a few weeks later.

I'm Sorry, What Did You Say?

Do you consider yourself to be a good listener? Are you patient? Do you ask questions?

Or, when someone else is talking, are you just thinking about what you will say next?

I consider myself to be a good listener. I guess I should be grateful for that because my job is, essentially, a “professional listener.” Let’s face it, if I wasn’t a good listener or if I didn't know how to listen, then I’d be doing something else right now (and probably wouldn’t get summers off). But I will be honest, listening is definitely a skill that I've had to work to improve over the years.

When I'm with someone, one-on-one, or when I'm among a group of people, I find it very easy to listen to the speaker, make eye contact and give him/her my full attention. If, for some reason, I must multi-task when I'm listening to someone then I try to make a point of saying "I'm still listening." I know this isn't the most polite way to listen, but sometimes it is difficult to avoid and it's better than not having the time to listen at all. I do it because I genuinely enjoy listening to people talk and, for the most part, I am usually interested in what the speaker is saying. What some people do not understand or appreciate, though, is the fact that some people do their best listening while doing something else at the very same time. I've discovered that I am one of these people.

I’ve come to learn that I do my worst listening when it's the only thing I have to focus on. As you may or may not know, Matt and I watch The Biggest Loser religiously. Every week we complain that the show is too long (2 hours!), so for that reason alone maybe this won't come as a big surprise to anyone, but I often find myself zoning out in the middle of the show. For example, I will see the contestants participate in a "challenge," however I have no idea what the rules of the challenge are because I wasn't listening when they were stated by the host. YET, I was sitting there at the time and I was definitely staring at the TV screen and I WASN’T doing anything else. I don't get it. Something isn’t adding up.

Then there are the car rides. For some odd reason, I slip into a coma when I am a passenger in a car. Seriously, if you’re planning a long road trip, I am the LAST person you want to invite; you may as well go by yourself.

A car ride with me often goes like this:
1.) Driver tells story.
2.) I nod, say “yeah” or make some other one-word comment.
3.) Driver begins a new story.
4.) I repeat step 2.
5.) Driver apologizes for “talking my ear off.”
6.) I say “No need to apologize.”
7.) Repeat steps 1-6.

Most often in these "car cases," I really am listening, but I’m embarrassed to say that I’m not being an ACTIVE listener. When I'm riding in a car, my responses clearly lack quality and I never seem to ask the typical probing questions.

Another situation that occurs in the car involves listening to the radio (this might be related to the TV issue). Sometimes the driver will make a comment about something that is said on the radio and I have to respond, "Oh, I wasn't listening." So, what was I doing, you ask? The answer is I HAVE NO IDEA. I certainly wasn’t driving, so I can't even use "focusing on the road" as an excuse.

I confess. I’m not ALWAYS a good listener. I have some work to do. But I’ve become quite good at recognizing situations in which my listening skills are guaranteed to deteriorate. Here are some examples…

Adults Who Read Aloud (because they probably like the sound of their own voice)
By now, most people that are close to me know that I cannot listen to people read aloud, so, thankfully, they no longer do it. It CAN pose some problems, though, or at least some awkward situations. Try to imagine stopping strangers or acquaintances mid-sentence and telling them to hand over the piece of paper because you can't listen to them read aloud. Sometimes people take offense to this, but the fact remains that I have to read it myself. You can waste your time reading aloud, but I will just have to reread it when you are finished. On the other hand, maybe this is fine with you because you love to talk and you love the sound of your own voice.

People Who Simply Love to Talk
Some people just love to talk and I’m okay with that because I am one of them. However, I find it very difficult to listen to people who talk too much about themselves or their children. You MUST find a balance. I can fully appreciate someone who likes to talk, but if you like to talk then you also need to listen. You can't dominate every conversation and not give others the opportunity to be heard.

The Boomerang
I’m sure you know at least one person who can turn virtually any story back on his/herself. I'm convinced that these people practice their tactics in the privacy of their own home. More often than not, the stories aren't even related, but these people are very skillful; they have a sixth sense that allows them to find the smallest connection so that they can ALWAYS find a way to bring the focus back to themselves. You know there’s a problem when someone says “Speaking of the Presidential Campaign, did you notice my new haircut?”

The Non-Editors
As I mentioned previously, I love to talk. Give me a glass of wine and you will find this out soon enough. However, I think I’m pretty good at “reading” the natural progression of a conversation. For the most part, I think I know when to listen, when to talk, when to interject, when to interrupt (I believe that sometimes it IS necessary to interrupt) and, most importantly, I know when to edit for content.

Have you ever found yourself listening to a story wondering when the speaker is ever going to get to the point? The BEST example of this is a story that starts like this: “Last Monday, no wait, maybe it was Tuesday? Or was it Sunday?” Um, can I have the last 5 minutes of my life back? I’m not saying I have more important things to be doing or that my time is more precious than yours, but I’ve now lost interest because THIS INFORMATION IS IRRELEVANT. You don’t have to provide EVERY detail to get your point across. Take a cue from my husband, Matt, and begin EVERY story with “yesterday” even if it was 7 years ago. Unless, of course, you’re under oath.

Relentless Agenda-Pushers
I am known for having strong opinions, but I’m also known for changing my mind about certain things. This may come as a surprise to some people, but I like when others “play devil’s advocate.” I consider myself an open-minded person and the fact that I DO change my mind, on occasion, should tell you that I am not 100% set in my ways. I also don’t have a problem admitting to someone that they’ve made a good point. What bothers me, though, is when people try relentlessly to change the opinions of others. Do they not recognize that this is a lost cause? As well as a party foul? Pushing your agenda on other people makes everyone else in the room uncomfortable. The world would be a pretty boring place if everyone had the same opinions so please do us all a favor and agree to disagree.

The Constant Complainer
Personally, I believe that it is normal to complain every once in awhile, but I don't want to listen to you if complaining is ALL that you do. Especially if you're complaining about things you cannot control. Yes, it would be nice if it wasn't going to rain the day of the party, but we're still going to hang out, crush some beers and eat some delicious snacks. The party isn't going to suck simply because it's raining, so get over it and make the most of it.

The Repetitive Story Teller
Recently Matt accused me of telling the same story too many times. I was absolutely mortified because this is something that I, myself, am annoyed by. When someone begins telling me a story for the second time, I usually have no problem telling him/her that I’ve already heard this story. What is funny (and by funny I mean annoying) is that the storyteller often ignores this comment and continues to tell the story for the second time anyway.

So what DO I enjoy listening to? To name a few...
• Good music
• Problems that I can relate to
• Family backgrounds
• Opinions
• Advice
• Breaking news
• Funny Stories
• News related to education
• Nonsense