Wednesday, November 25, 2009
8 Things I'm Thankful for Right Now
2. Chuck Klosterman
I’m reading his new book, Eating the Dinosaur, and it is cracking me up. An excerpt:
"I find that '(Don't Fear) The Reaper' significantly increases my fear of the Reaper. This song is a failure."
Sometimes I wonder if we are the same person, but then I remember that he is a published author, brilliant, hilarious, famous, and cashing checks with more zeros than I’ll ever see in a lifetime. Oh, yeah, and he’s a dude. So now that I know we’re not the same person, I can only assume that he has a backstage pass to my brain (one piece of evidence can be found on page 89). I am growing increasingly envious that I will never be able to articulate my thoughts as well as he does. Is it possible to copyright your thoughts? Maybe I'd be entitled to a cut of those profits...
3. The fact that I never have to watch The Proposal again.
I've heard (and overheard) this movie recommended a LOT lately and since it was kind of a surprise summer hit and Ryan Reynolds is very "smart" looking, I decided to give it a go one night (sans Matt, of course). This movie is EXACTLY why I am so selective about the movie reviews/opinions that I trust and follow. First of all, I'm convinced that most women are unable to tell the difference between a quality romantic comedy (i.e. About a Boy, High Fidelity, Sideways) and one that is completely formulaic. And do women know that there is life outside the romantic comedy? Or do women just assume that a romantic comedy is a “safe” suggestion for another woman?
Seriously, ladies, we can do better than this. This movie was painful. There are several things wrong with it including the fact that it has a score of 48 on Metacritic. Where I come from a 48 = F. So, if you don’t agree with the following then we can’t be friends (but we probably weren’t friends to begin with anyway):
A.) Try to name one funny part, right this instant. You can’t because it wasn’t funny and even if you did laugh, it certainly wasn’t memorable and that’s why you’re drawing a blank.
B.) Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock are not believable as a couple. Not in a movie. Not in real life. Period.
C.) Sandra Bullock should not be acting in the year 2009 let alone STARRING in a romantic comedy that somehow earned over $150 million. Sandra Bullock’s career should’ve began and ended with Speed.
4. Westvleteren 12
What is the most amount of money you would spend on beer? Ok, let me rephrase that. What’s the most amount of money you would spend on something you love? People who don't understand my passion for beer might call me "crazy" for spending $70 on two 12 oz. bottles of beer (plus another $20 to have them shipped from Belgium). So, let me explain. This beer is the best beer in the world according to www.BeerAdvocate.com. Matt had been talking about it for several months, so I decided to splurge for his birthday (or maybe that’s just what I keep telling myself). To make a long story short, I ordered the beer, he was thrilled, and we enjoyed drinking it. We waited about 24 hours before discussing whether or not it was actually worth it. So, what did we think? We agreed that we probably wouldn’t order it again (unless we were in Belgium, of course). We felt that a Chimay would get the job done just as easily, but we did think the overall experience was worth the money. Sometimes an experience is worth the money, but you have to be doing it for yourself not because you want to tell others that you did it (not to say that you can't discuss the experience at all). So before you call me crazy, think of something that you splurged on. Maybe I, personally, wouldn't have splurged on that, but I respect your decision to splurge on something ridiculous if it's something you are truly passionate about.
5. J.J. Abrams
You’d think, since the final season of Lost is looming near, I’d be cursing J.J. right about now, but I should’ve realized this guy is a lot smarter than the person who named him. This year J.J. has succeeded at 2 things: changing my opinion of the Star Trek franchise and reeling me into YET another television series called Flashforward. The final season of Lost hasn’t even begun yet but, J.J., consider the torch passed my friend.
6. The XX
Thank you to my brother, Gerard, who told me to run out and purchase this CD. (Although I’m sure my other brother, Mike, probably made the initial recommendation to Gerard.) I am officially obsessed with their music. But what makes me like them even more is the fact that they are barely out of their teens. They were born the same year as Taylor Swift who, like The XX, writes and sings songs that are simple and romantic. If you've never heard a song by The XX, I'm not making that comparison to scare you off. My point is that the two artists are drastically different. The XX's debut album doesn't even sound like a debut album, let alone a debut album by a group of 20-year-olds. Their voices are mesmerizing and please believe me when I say that their music appeals to both males and females alike. If you're hesitant to buy the entire album, get your feet wet with VCR and Basic Space.
So, as my brother and I have established, Invisalign is just a tad different than the ads let on. Don't get me wrong, it's MUCH better than having a mouth full of metal (although some people might ask why I even bother with Invisalign since I've sort of defeated its purpose by telling everyone that I have it), but it did force me to have a perfectly good tooth extracted. For the next few months I will look like a hillbilly (the things we do for vanity), but this baffling piece of technology is slowly convincing me that it was indeed worth the money and I WILL have a perfect smile within the next 2 years.
8. The 12-pack of Shipyard Pumpkinheads sitting in my basement
I finally found a good use for Facebook: ask and you shall receive. I recently posted the following status update on FB: "Anyone know of any liquor stores that still have 12-packs of Shipyard Pumpkinheads?" Within hours I had "friends" checking liquor stores all over MA. I got a few leads and hit the jackpot. I can almost hear the pumpkinhead guy on the label calling my name right now, but alas, you will have to wait patiently until Thursday morning…ahem…afternoon.