Wednesday, December 3, 2008

LWD (Laughing While Driving)

I feel like I bring cars up a lot on this blog, but have you ever just looked at a car and burst out laughing?

I do. But for different reasons, of course.

Here’s my list of the top 8 funniest cars…

1. El Camino
I have to admit that I haven’t seen one of these on the road in awhile but on the rare occasion that I DO see one I just have to laugh. You can’t help but ask: Is it a car? Is it a pickup? A picarup?

2. Hummer
A few months ago when gas was $4 per gallon and owners probably had to take their Hummers off the road, I may have been laughing a bit harder at the sight of one of these. Now, that gas prices are down, Hummer owners are busting out their monstrosities once again and I am STILL laughing at the idiots who drive them. Let’s face it, Hummer dealerships can’t be doing well. I’m sure the only Hummers we see on the road are the ones that were purchased back in 2004-05 when they were all the rage and people thought that owning a Hummer meant they were rich, powerful and important. Meanwhile, the United States decided to turn “green” overnight and just like that the Hummer’s 15 minutes of fame were up. I don’t know how people don’t feel like Hester Prynne driving around in these things.


3. Muscle Cars
Laughing at the classic muscle car needs no explanation, but I find the contemporary muscle cars to be even more hilarious. Seriously, have you ever looked at a guy driving a Ford Mustang or a Camaro? And what about the girls that drive these cars? Who are they? And can someone tell me WHY on earth the Ford Mustang is still the “dream car” for high school students? For once I’d like to hear a teenager tell his parents that he’d like a Kia when he gets his license.

4. K-Car
Remember when you were young and your parents would buy a new car and everyone would run out to the driveway to check it out as soon as it pulled up? Well, my first memory of getting a new family car is the dark gray Dodge Aries (AKA: K-Car) that my dad purchased back in the 80’s. The funniest thing about this family car is that our whole family couldn’t even fit in it. Still, we were in awe of this little K-Car as it sat in our crooked driveway in all its boxed-out glory. We couldn’t wait to use the cassette player, manually roll down the windows and sit 3 across in the front and back. I vividly remember traveling in the K-Car with my dad all the way out to North Adams State College (now MCLA) to pick up my sister on a few occasions. On one particular trip I got sick from eating too many circus peanuts. I hate circus peanuts.

5. Volkswagen Bus
Tell me you don’t know someone who STILL points at these vans and says “The Libyans!” Well, you do now. I am that person.

6. Cars with wood paneling.
Like me, I’m sure the first thing you think of is the Griswold’s Wagon Queen Family Truckster. I had no idea that was the name of it until I Googled it! I’d like to know who actually thought that wood paneling would ADD to a car’s exterior. Probably the same guy who installed wood paneling on the walls in my childhood home…aaah…the 70’s. Yes, it’s a rarity now, but believe it or not, some car companies have actually resurrected the wood paneling.

Like the PT Cruiser...

And for a mere $600 you can purchase a wood panel graphics kit for your Jeep Commander...

Oh, Chrysler...and you wonder why you need a bail out...

7. Minivans

When I was young, several of my friends' parents owned minivans, except we called them all "Caravans" then. I was SO jealous. I couldn't get over the fact that we could each have our own seat in the back! All these families of 4 were getting minivans, but our family of 6 apparently HAD to have the K-Car. The best part is that one of my friend's actually had a Caravan with wood-paneling. A double whammy...

Although practical, I have a strict no-minivan policy. If/when I have children, I would much rather have a station wagon.

But if you think that's bad, here's another double-whammy...

8. Convertibles with the top down in non-convertible weather.

Don't get me wrong, I used to own a Jeep Wrangler and there were times when I would be driving home at night with the top down and the heat on, but have you ever put the top up or down on a Wrangler? It's a P in the A. Call me lazy if you will. Convertible CARS are different. It's not that difficult to put the top up. Yes, we see you with the top down, which we know is exactly what you want, but we're laughing at you from inside our heated cars. We know you're cold. You have nothing to prove to us. It's a bit premature. Why don't you just surrender and put the top up already? Unless...New England has some sort of secret race every year for convertibles. Maybe the first person seen with his or her top down wins a prize?


Anonymous said...

I'm continuously amazed at the workings inside your cranium.

Amber and Matt said...

My ex in college had a dodge is that a blast from the past. Who thought a car that boxy could even move through the air at a speed faster than 25 mph??